Smoking

For Valentine's Day, I sent my sweetie a package which included a catnip cigar. Being a curious Meezer I HAD TO inspect all things going into the box to Henry. I liked everything in it because it was paw-picked by me but I really was groovin on the nip cigar. Mommy even debated about letting me keep it because I was a smitten kitten.

But I knew Henry was worth it so into the box it went.

A couple of days ago Mommy went to buy my crunchies and picked up a cigar for my very own! She told me she had a treat for me for being such a good nurse to her since she is still so sick with mono. I was laying on my favoritist spot on the couch when she put it next to me. I hissed at it! I am not normally a hissy kitty unless there is another kitty in my territory; however, I hissed at the treat Mommy brought me! Then I whapped it good and hard and ran off to recover.

I still won't go near it. Mommy says I am crazy.

Hmpf!

Fraidy Cat Five on Friday

Mommy sez that I suffer from neurosis. I wasn’t sure what that meant so I looked it up… I like being able to see things by looking them up online.

Neurosis: a mental and emotional disorder that affects only part of the personality, is accompanied by a less distorted perception of reality than in a psychosis, does not result in disturbance of the use of language, and is accompanied by various physical, physiological, and mental disturbances (as visceral symptoms, anxieties, or phobias)

So my five on Friday are five things that I am scared of (but Mommy sez I am “neurotic” about)…

1. Plastic bags…. They are evil!!! When Mommy or Daddy come home with groceries I run like the wind!! When they change the trash bags and they have to open a new one, I am no where to be found. If I could I would rid the world of horrible plastic bags!
2. Aluminum foil…. I don’t like the noise it makes; however I mostly do not like it because it is shiny. It reminds me of the awful table at the V-E-T’s office. Nuff said….
3. Thunder boomers… I am really skairty over these! I have to either be curled up tight in Mommy’s lap, under the bed or in the back of the closet. I choose the place depending upon where I am when the thunder boomers start! If at all possible I prefer to be in Mommy’s lap! She cuddles me and tells me she will protected me.
4. The doorbell…. I can not begin to explain why this scares me! I can be downstairs laying by the cozy fire and someone will ring the bell and I have to bolt upstairs as fast as my leggies will carry me!
5. Closed doors…. Okay, this one is completely crazy, and I would not zactly call it “scared”; however, if a door is shut to a room (especially Mommy’s bedroom) and I am not in the room with Mommy I will not just scratch at it, I will body slam it!! Daddy watched me one time and said I got a running head start and hurled myself at it while meowing the whole time!! Mommy could not hear me because she was in the shower. Daddy had to carry me in so I could see her and I was so happy that I was in the room with Mommy!!

attack!!

i was attacked. not by a vishus annymul but by frozen water. i have a medal i wear around my collar (yes, i am a prissy girl) and when mommy put fresh cubies in my water i had to go take a drink right away... well one thing lead to another some of the cubies got stucked on my medal!!

i looked up at mommy and then i shook my head really hard and a cubie flew off. there were still three more stuck to me. i had to walk with my front paws really far apart so the cubie would touch me as little as possible. at this point mommy started laughing at me. that hurt my feelings but i was more concerned about getting the cubie off my collar.

i shook my head hard again... nothing. mommy hollered for daddy at this point who came running down the stairs. i shook my head again and presto! no more cubie!! daddy was sorry he missed the show and laughed when mommy told him what happened.

humiliation aside, i got some temtayshuns for it. that makes for a happy ending.

thurzday thirtene

i no its early...

here are 13 reezuns i am glad to be an onlee child and the Bubbie is gone. he brushed me but i do no like chillens...

1. attenshun. i get it all
2. all tuna is MINE!
3. i can hed but all i want
4. i get to sleep in the mittle
5. no one compeets for fud
6. no lowd noyses from the boy
7. no forts are bilt for me i hate that
8. no yelling
9. no stickee hands
10. the floor is dry in the bathroom after showers
11. no chassing
12. i do not have to wach sponge bob
13. i can come owt from under the bed

hep me!!

oh no!! daddy's little bean is here!! he is six. he will be seven tomorow. i am older. he is stickee and likes to tuch me. mommy sed no hisses so i tries to run and hide but he finds me! then he tuches me with stickee hands. he is big too. almost as big as mommy (she is what beans call short). he bilds forts and makes a speshul room for me but i still needs to hide, hide, hide!!

he wants to tuch me, but like i sez, he is stickee!!

hep, hep, small blonde bean is in MY howse!! must go hide!!

nu alirt to wach owt for!!

i lirned abowt the awful vishus tertuls from Skeezix. thank you for making all of us awear of the evil tertuls!

i wanted to tell everyone abowt anudder threat on kitties.... monkeees!!! aparintly they are steeling things in korea. i do not want my fancee collur snatched!!

everybody needz to be rilly carefull of vishus deer, vishus tertuls and theefing monkeees! tell all your frends!!

i dragged da lap top under da bed

i iz skairt. there are fire boomers going all round my howse. skairt, skairt, skairt. i has a rige of fuzz going on my back. mommy callz it my dynosar. skairt, skairt, skairt. lotz of big noyses. do not like and it needz to stop cuz i donot know if my hart can take much more.

do not think i like today vary much. skairt!

mommy shud bring tuna to me as tharipee.

did i menshun i am skairt?